Category: Positivity

Has it really been five years already???

9/9/2014

Five years ago today, I was standing in my hotel suite desperately trying not to cry. With my makeup perfectly applied, hair done, and veil in place...it was becoming real. I was getting married. Between the mini panic attacks and squeals of delight, I was so darn excited. The day had finally arrived.

As I stepped into my gown, I wave of calm enveloped me. I was mere moments away from joining my life to the person who made me feel alive. Who has enriched my life simply by existing. Who has opened up my mind and heart to new ideas and ways of thinking. Who has shown me what perfect love and perfect trust are all about.

Our wedding day is honestly a blur for me (I blame it on neglecting to eat and only hydrating myself on the champagne!), but I remember some key moments that always make me smile.

I remember my aunt adjusting my dress and then moments later, having a fit of laughter while then trying to help me learn how to use the bathroom in said dress (Tip for all you future brides: Pee first! ;-) )!

I remember feeling the air leave me as I started my walk down my (very long!) beach aisle. I remember Mark joking with me as he guided me toward the alter, whispering that he had left the car running in case I wanted to make a break for it.

I remember staring down at my husband's hands during our hand blessing ceremony
and thinking how lucky I was that he had chosen me.

I remember him delicately applying sindoor to my forehead, thus ending my days as a single woman. I remember him covering my head with a sari, the look on his face...I'll remember it forever.

I remember our vows to each other. The promises we made as our friends and family looked on.

Not all days have been good. Some, in fact, have been just plain awful but there is something that has pushed us on to today. I feel that we are madly, truly, deeply in love with one another and a love like ours is too exceptional to just toss away when things get hard.

He is my motivation to do better, to be better. He challenges me and he tests me but he is also my safe harbor...my lighthouse in the darkness. This year will also mark our 9th year of being together. I honestly can not believe that we have been loving each other for almost a decade. It doesn't feel like it's been that long. I wish that time would slow down so I don't feel like I'm missing it.

Roni, you are constantly renewing my faith that love and marriages can last forever. Your gentle way of living has touched some of the deepest parts of my soul and I am forever changed by you. I love laughing with you. I love going off on adventures with you...even routine chores are often some of my favorite things to do and it's because, with you, I am at ease. These past five years have not been without upset and sadness but they have also not been without laughter and devotion...tenderness and love. Your unwavering strength and guidance as we walk through this life together has been the greatest gift that I could ever receive. Because of you, I have so many reasons to smile.

You are my confidant, partner in crime, husband, and friend. Who could ask for more than that? I love you, Roni.

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Pour your Intentions into the Salt Bowl.

5/31/2014

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I've been thinking a lot about connection recently and how we impact the people around us. No matter how quick a connection, a change has been set in motion. An exchange...give and take.

A bee might only pause briefly atop a flower but both the bee and the flower have experienced a powerful connection. The bee, pausing only moments to collect nectar has no idea that there is an exchange taking place. As the bee sits, the flower's pollen sticks to its legs. Flower to flower the pollen is transferred and the cycle continues, creating new flowers from which the bee can drink.

Since my husband and I learned that we are going to be moving, I've been focusing a lot of my energy on the connections that I've made. I feel guilty that I didn't have the opportunity to tell everyone how much they have meant to me and how grateful I am for the lasting impact that they have had on me.

The dictionary defines a Connection as "linking of people or things: the joining together of two or more people, things, or parts". With that in mind, I wanted to mention something that I hope to do with the people in my life. I want to go to the salt bowl.

Image captured before my goodbye salt bowl ceremony

A salt bowl ceremony is an incredible practice that involves a circle of people who, with adding their own personal ingredients, co-create a large bowl full of pleasant smelling sea salt. The salt bowl is sent around the circle and as each person adds their own special ingredient (essential oils, sage, finely chopped citrus peel, lavender that you picked from your home garden, honey, sugar, etc.) they also add their intention. This can be anything that you want, a goal for your life, a thought about the relationships in the circle, a kind message to the group, aspiration, whatever intention you feel compelled to pour into the bowl is left in the salt.

When this circle is completed, everyone takes a jar of the intention filled, delicious smelling salt home with them. In times of stress, anxiety, or simply when you need a break from the day, you can return to the salt bowl. You can bathe in those intentions and love, wash your hands with the well wishes and kind thoughts that were lovingly added by family and friends, or simply close your eyes, smell, and remember the unity that you felt as each person added their selves to the bowl and how wonderfully present you were in that moment.

An experience like going to the salt bowl can be wonderfully transformative. It's a moment in time when you're holding a literal representation of yourself...being a part of something bigger. And while you're amazing on your own, great things happen when you connect and bind with those around you.

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From Los Angeles to the Ozarks

5/27/2014

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I grew up in a town of just over 4,000 people and city life was always interesting to me. Intrigued by the chaos and life force that the city offered, I jumped at the chance to move there in 2007. I was so excited to go, not only because I was going to be able to be reunited with my boyfriend (Now husband, he moved to LA six months prior) but because I was intrigued by the lifestyle and eager to become a part of it. There are a lot of things about living in the city that my husband and I really enjoy. Being a hop, skip, and a jump away from the beach has been a blast...we even got married on the beach because we love it so much!

For the last 6 weeks or so, my husband has been interviewing with the legal department of a large company based in Springfield, Missouri. Two months of work, eleven interviews, and one hectic business trip later...they offered him the job and today, he accepted! We are very excited about this move and we are hopeful for what it promises for our future, our family and our careers.

Leaving Los Angeles' rich, honest, and unified birth community is going to be very hard for me. I have been spoiled with a rich and supportive birth community as well. We support one another, raise each other up, and challenge each other to be better. These doula sisters (and a few brothers), midwives, etc., are more than colleagues...we are friends. I have never been a part of a community like this and I am so thankful that I have had the opportunity to grow my business in a city with such passionate birth workers. We have also been blessed to become friends with some amazing and unique people in our time here. Lactation consultants, chefs, musicians, scientists...they come from all walks of life, but what binds them is the passion that I've come to expect from those who call this place home.

I am very excited to build my business and support the families in Springfield! Not only will this move be good for my family but it will be good for Shanti Birth Services...I'm sure of it! I already have a huge list of things that I would like to accomplish so once I get there I can hit the ground running! Thank you to everyone who has trusted me as your doula, placenta encapsulation specialist, belly caster, blessingway planner, etc.. It has been my most sincere honor to work with you and your families. A big thank you to all of the men and women in the Los Angeles birth community! Your support has been invaluable!

I am very excited for this new journey and I hope that you'll come along with me!

This is Springfield, Missouri. I love how green it is!

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It's been a long time...

5/24/2014

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Hi there friends!

Sorry I've been away for so long! Things have been pretty crazy in my world as of
late and blogging has fallen by the wayside. There are a lot of fantastic things happening right now that I'm having trouble keeping up. It's exhausting but I wouldn't change it for anything. Even though I haven't been posting regularly, I've been hard at work cooking up great ideas and working on some pretty great blogs.

I can't wait to share them with you!

Green everywhere! This picture was taken on the way to Branson.

Roni and I just returned from a week long trip in Springfield, Missouri. Boy was that an experience! Springfield is SO different from Los Angeles...green as far as the eye can see, clean air and water, and friendly people who will go out of their way to have a conversation with you.

On the other side of this card was the name and history of a female passenger aboard the Titanic. The card is carried through the exhibit and at the end, you find out if your passenger lived or died. Very powerful.

We spent an afternoon in Branson at the Titanic museum. If you ever have the chance to go to this museum, you must go. Not only to they have actual artifacts from the ship but the museum itself is shaped like the front half of the ship. They have a few interactive parts as well. There is a section where they have you walk on decks that are slanted at different angles to give people the idea of what it was like to try and stay safely on board as the ship was sinking. As the angle of the deck increased, I found myself becoming more and more sad. Another part of the exhibit allows you the chance to experience how horribly cold the water was on that fateful night. You're asked to plunge your hand down into the icy water and a timer is set (the maximum is three minutes with a timer sounding if you've completed it). Most, feeling the frigid sting of the freezing water, immediately pull their hand out, while others try to last a bit longer. When I came to this station, I knew right away that I was going to keep my hand in the water for the full three minutes. Not to show that I have a high pain tolerance but to allow myself to experience, even for three minutes, the pain that those men, women, and children had to endure. It was a beautiful tribute to the lives of those who were aboard that How long do you think you could keep your hand submerged in 28 degree water? I had a great time and I can't wait to go back.

I'll be posting a blog in a few days but in the meantime, I'm interested to know what types of topics YOU'RE interested in reading!? What would you like for me to talk about? Thanks friends!

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Men Becoming Fathers

3/5/2014

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I'm going to tell you about my favorite moment while working with a family. It might shock some of you to know that it's NOT watching my pregnant client birth her baby. WHAT!? I know, I know...just hear me out. There is a moment that always seems to smack me right in the face and grab my heart so tightly that I forget to breathe. My favorite part is watching the moment when men become fathers. More specifically, their face the moment their precious baby is born. (For the sake of simplification, I'm going to use the male pronouns to describe the partner.)

It was unbelievable! I was the first person to hold her. I didn't get that with my first child, Madison. I'm in the Army and was in a different state when she was born. I'm glad that I got to feel that bond right away with Lilia. (Photo submitted by Christy G.)

I supported a family where both the client and her partner labored beautifully together. When I arrived to the hospital, the husband and I locked eyes. He smiled, nodded, and winked at me. She seemed to be doing well with his support so I settled in and watched for a while. He was comfortable supporting her; he knew the kind of support that he wanted to be, what his wife needed, and he knew that she could do it with his help. He held her and surrounded her with love and spoken softly to her whenever he felt that she needed encouragement. I was there simply as their consistency and to be a voice should they need it. He wiped her face and brushed back her hair as she labored. (You can read his story in the black capitalized writing below.)

"KIRSTIN AND I WERE A GOOD TEAM. MY WIFE AND I DIDN'T NEED HER TOO MUCH UNTIL
THE END. AS MY WIFE CONTRACTED, I DANCED WITH HER, HELD HER, AND TOLD HER HOW
MUCH I LOVED HER. I TOLD HER HOW PROUD I WAS OF HER AND HOW AMAZING SHE WAS
DOING. KIRSTIN WAS ALWAYS CLOSE BY BUT LET US HAVE THE SPACE THAT WE WANTED TO
EXPERIENCE THIS EVENT IN OUR OWN INTIMATE WAY"

I was full of so many emotions...Happiness, fear, anticipation. I had only 3 weeks left until I had to leave for Iraq, and all I knew was that I wanted to bond with his little girl before I had to leave.

So this is love...

As we progress through the labor, the husband's tend to mirror their laboring partner. If she is calm and relaxed, his face is loose and soft. If she is struggling through a contraction, his face is screwed up tight with his jaw clenched. If she is holding her breath...often, he is doing the same. I feel that in this moment, he feels vulnerable and helpless because he can't take that pain away, so he subconsciously tries to experience it with her.

"WATCHING MY WIFE GO THROUGH THAT PAIN WAS THE HARDEST THING THAT I'VE EVER HAD
TO DO IN MY LIFE. I'VE ALWAYS BEEN ABLE TO "FIX" THINGS OR MAKE HER FEEL BETTER
WHEN SHE IS SAD OR SICK BUT THIS WAS DIFFERENT. I JUST WANTED TO TAKE THE PAIN
AWAY. IT DIDN'T HELP COMPLETELY BUT HAVING KIRSTIN THERE TO REMIND ME THAT THE
PAIN WAS NORMAL AND NECESSARY MADE ME FEEL BETTER."

Holy sh-t. Now what? Just kidding! Wow. Labor wasn't what I expected. It wasn't what they described in the classes. And then the end result - how lucky am I? She's beautiful.

"Hey, I know your voice! You must be my daddy!"

So the pain and discomfort continue on. The mother pushes through this incredible and awesome work while the partner supports her as best as he can. Then all at once... there is a shift. A child is born and in that same moment, a father is also born. Intense love, relief, joy and probably a healthy bit of fear rushes over. It fills him, so much so that it seems to shine out of every pore. His baby, so small and new, emerges into the world. All at once, he's seeing his heart and life before his very eyes. It's kind of hard to describe but if you've seen it, you know what I'm talking about. :-)

"THE MOMENT THAT MY SON WAS BORN...WOW...THERE IS NO WAY TO DESCRIBE THE LOVE
AND DEVOTION THAT I FELT FOR HIM AND MY WIFE IN THAT MOMENT. EVERY MOMENT THAT
HAS FOLLOWED SINCE THEN HAS BEEN FILLED WITH PURE AND FIERCE LOVE. WATCHING MY
WIFE PUSH OUR SON INTO THE WORLD WAS THE MOST INCREDIBLE THING THAT I'VE EVER
WITNESSED AND WHEN MY SON TOOK HIS FIRST BREATH, I KNEW THEN THAT GOD EXISTED."

It was like time stopped. I forgot about every problem and everything that we went through. The only thing that I knew was that this was one of the happiest moments in my world and that's the best thing in your life.

I love that first moment after a baby is born when Dad's face is awash with joy, awe and respect. I tear up every time a new father leans down to kiss his exhausted wife and drink in the beauty of his new child. When I visited them for their postpartum visit, they delighted in having me hold their new son, tell me stories about what had happened since his birth and how happy they were. The husband told me how he wanted to shout his joy from the rooftops. He told me how proud and impressed he was with the amazing and hard work that his wife did to birth their son. I saw him again a few weeks ago and I swear he was floating ten feet off the ground, that's how in love he was.

"I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR THAT WOMAN AND LITTLE BOY. I WOULD GLADLY GIVE MY LIFE
FOR THEM. HOW FUNNY THAT I WOULD LAY DOWN MY LIFE FOR SOMEONE THAT I'VE ONLY
KNOWN FOR A LITTLE OVER THREE WEEKS? MY CHILD MEANS EVERYTHING TO ME...WITHOUT
HIM AND MY AMAZING WIFE, I AM NOTHING."

Becoming a father was an indescribable moment in my life. There's nothing to compare the amazing feeling I had when she was born. I felt like a family instead of a couple. She's a Daddy's girl and my entire world.

There is something so special about watching men become fathers. As they embrace their new life and hold their partner and baby close, I am reminded at how amazing this work is.
So to all you fathers, dads, papas and padres out there...You're the best!

I would like to give a HUGE thank you to all of the families that submitted photos and stories for this blog.
Jack and Christy G. Trish and Chris G. Danielle F. Nicole P. and her father
Hannah F. Chelsea and Jesus N. Amanda and Jeremiah L. Carlos E. (story in caps)
It was my main goal to personalize this blog and I feel that with your beautiful pictures and stories, we did just that!

In the comments, tell us about your journey to parenthood! Were you a nervous father awaiting the birth of your baby? Were you an excited mother enjoying the unknown of pregnancy? Tell us, we want to know!

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Birth Affirmations

1/19/2014

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I've been umming and aahing about the blog that I want to write at the moment. It still needs some work so I'll be taking a few more hours (or days!) writing/editing until I am happy with it. I did, however, just get off of the phone with a client who had a disappointing visit with her doctor. Her doctor suggested that she schedule an induction (with no medical necessity) and when my client said that she wanted to wait for labor to start naturally, she heard, "You're being very irresponsible. Who's the doctor here?" SO....instead of dwelling on the fear and anger that she is feeling, I reminded her of this list and we read affirmations together. You'll find this list below. :-)

I trust my body.
My body was made for this.
I listen to my body and I respond accordingly.
I am connected to my infant; my baby knows my heart beat, my breathing, my voice, the feeling of my love.
My body is perfect for birthing, it grew my baby all the while I just went about my normal living.
I trust my body's wisdom and knowledge.
I trust my body's ancient structure, and I give birth easily and effortlessly as I trust my body to do the work.
I am celebrating myself, my life, and my coming birthing day.
I affirm myself as a good mother.
I lovingly accept my changing body.
I easily recognize where stress is coming from and I learn to release that easily.
I notice when I get tense, and I consciously relax those areas of my body.
I remind myself to relax my whole body often.
My body is beautiful.
I am proud of my body and I trust it.
I trust my body; All I have to do, is breathe and my body will do all the rest.
I accept each stage of the pregnancy as a new wonderful adventure.
I accept each stage of the birth as a new wonderful adventure.
As I prepare for labor I remember I am in control.
I trust my body, I love my body!
I am an amazing being.
I wait on what is best for my baby and I let my baby set the pace.
My mind and body are calm.
I stop my mind from running to thoughts of worry or fears, by using positive thinking.
I notice when my thoughts are fearful, and I choose to change them.
I look forward to this transition, and I'm excited about this next phase of my life.
If in doubt, breathe out.
The power and intensity of my surges cannot be stronger than me, because it is me.
Just as my heart knows how to pump, lungs to inhale, and my hand to pull back from fire, I when and how to give birth.
Birth is a safe and wonderful experience.
I am not afraid.
I know my baby feels our calmness and confidence.
I trust in my ability to give birth.
I trust in my baby's ability to know how to be born.
My body knows exactly what it is doing.
I am confident in my ability to birth naturally, painlessly and easily.
During labor and birth, I am completely relaxed and comfortable.
I will have a peaceful, joyous and pleasurable birth.
My baby is healthy.
I am completely cooperating with my body.
I breathe deeply and slowly to relax my muscles making it easier for my uterus to work.
My body is made to give birth, nice and easy.
My body is completely relaxed.
All I need to do is relax and breathe – nothing else.
I feel the strong waves of labor and know that everything is normal and progressing.
My body knows how to have this baby just as my body knew how to grow this baby.
Keep my mind on acceptance and surrender.
I surrender my birthing over to my baby and my body.
My body has a wide open space for my baby to descend. There is nothing in the way.
My body will give birth in its own time.
I love my baby and I am doing all that is necessary to bring about a healthy birth.
Birth is an easy and natural occurrence for which my body has been perfectly designed.
The strength of my uterine contractions is a sign of my feminine strength.
I have the energy and stamina to birth my baby.
I surrender to the contractions and relinquish control of the forces within my body.
I allow my body’s natural anesthesia to flow through my body.
I do not fight the birth in any way. My body is totally relaxed. I am not afraid.
I am ready and prepared for childbirth.
My job is to simply relax and allow the birth to happen.
Each contraction produces a healthy, positive pain that I can handle.
Birth will go exactly as it should.
I will have a strong and healthy baby.
I trust my body to know how to birth this child.
I trust my instincts to know what I need in labor.
I trust my instincts to do what is best for my baby.
Only I can give birth to this baby and I accept responsibility for that challenge.
Babies are born when they are ready, not when doctors, midwives or anyone decides.
My body is indeed beautifully and wonderfully made.
It’s good for me to take care of myself. I get to have a voice.
I am willing to experience all my feelings.
My pelvis releases and opens as have those of countless women before me.
My heart knows what my baby needs, my mind is learning.
I embrace the concept of healthy pain.
My body contains all the knowledge necessary to give birth to my baby.

Some of these may or may not appeal to you and that's okay. I know that I like them. Choose the ones that fit you best! Do you have any affirmations that you would like added to this list!? What affirmations did/do you find helpful? Let me know!

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Has it really been five years already???

Pour your Intentions into the Salt Bowl.

From Los Angeles to the Ozarks

It's been a long time...

Men Becoming Fathers

Birth Affirmations

Kirstin Mae Sengupta

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