Hi there friends!

Sorry I've been away for so long! Things have been pretty crazy in my world as of
late and blogging has fallen by the wayside. There are a lot of fantastic things happening right now that I'm having trouble keeping up. It's exhausting but I wouldn't change it for anything. Even though I haven't been posting regularly, I've been hard at work cooking up great ideas and working on some pretty great blogs.

I can't wait to share them with you!

We spent an afternoon in Branson at the Titanic museum. If you ever have the chance to go to this museum, you must go. Not only to they have actual artifacts from the ship but the museum itself is shaped like the front half of the ship. They have a few interactive parts as well. There is a section where they have you walk on decks that are slanted at different angles to give people the idea of what it was like to try and stay safely on board as the ship was sinking. As the angle of the deck increased, I found myself becoming more and more sad. Another part of the exhibit allows you the chance to experience how horribly cold the water was on that fateful night. You're asked to plunge your hand down into the icy water and a timer is set (the maximum is three minutes with a timer sounding if you've completed it). Most, feeling the frigid sting of the freezing water, immediately pull their hand out, while others try to last a bit longer. When I came to this station, I knew right away that I was going to keep my hand in the water for the full three minutes. Not to show that I have a high pain tolerance but to allow myself to experience, even for three minutes, the pain that those men, women, and children had to endure. It was a beautiful tribute to the lives of those who were aboard that How long do you think you could keep your hand submerged in 28 degree water? I had a great time and I can't wait to go back.


I'll be posting a blog in a few days but in the meantime, I'm interested to know what types of topics YOU'RE interested in reading!? What would you like for me to talk about? Thanks friends!

I would like to give a HUGE thank you to all of the families that submitted photos and stories for this blog.
Jack and Christy G.                   Trish and Chris G.                         Danielle F.                                 Nicole P. and her father
Hannah F.                                 Chelsea and Jesus N.                     Amanda and Jeremiah L.       Carlos E. (story in caps)
It was my main goal to personalize this blog and I feel that with your beautiful pictures and stories, we did just that!

In the comments, tell us about your journey to parenthood! Were you a nervous father awaiting the birth of your baby? Were you an excited mother enjoying the unknown of pregnancy? Tell us, we want to know!

I've been umming and aahing about the blog that I want to write at the moment. It still needs some work so I'll be taking a few more hours (or days!) writing/editing until I am happy with it. I did, however, just get off of the phone with a client who had a disappointing visit with her doctor. Her doctor suggested that she schedule an induction (with no medical necessity) and when my client said that she wanted to wait for labor to start naturally, she heard, "You're being very irresponsible. Who's the doctor here?" SO....instead of dwelling on the fear and anger that she is feeling, I reminded her of this list and we read affirmations together. You'll find this list below. :-)


I trust my body.
My body was made for this.
I listen to my body and I respond accordingly.
I am connected to my infant; my baby knows my heart beat, my breathing, my voice, the feeling of my love.
My body is perfect for birthing, it grew my baby all the while I just went about my normal living.
I trust my body's wisdom and knowledge.
I trust my body's ancient structure, and I give birth easily and effortlessly as I trust my body to do the work.
I am celebrating myself, my life, and my coming birthing day.
I affirm myself as a good mother.
I lovingly accept my changing body.
I easily recognize where stress is coming from and I learn to release that easily.
I notice when I get tense, and I consciously relax those areas of my body.
I remind myself to relax my whole body often.
My body is beautiful.
I am proud of my body and I trust it.
I trust my body; All I have to do, is breathe and my body will do all the rest.
I accept each stage of the pregnancy as a new wonderful adventure.
I accept each stage of the birth as a new wonderful adventure.
As I prepare for labor I remember I am in control.
I trust my body, I love my body!
I am an amazing being.
I wait on what is best for my baby and I let my baby set the pace.
My mind and body are calm.
I stop my mind from running to thoughts of worry or fears, by using positive thinking.
I notice when my thoughts are fearful, and I choose to change them.
I look forward to this transition, and I'm excited about this next phase of my life.
If in doubt, breathe out.
The power and intensity of my surges cannot be stronger than me, because it is me.
Just as my heart knows how to pump, lungs to inhale, and my hand to pull back from fire, I when and how to give birth.
Birth is a safe and wonderful experience.
I am not afraid.
I know my baby feels our calmness and confidence.
I trust in my ability to give birth.
I trust in my baby's ability to know how to be born.
My body knows exactly what it is doing.
I am confident in my ability to birth naturally, painlessly and easily.
During labor and birth, I am completely relaxed and comfortable.
I will have a peaceful, joyous and pleasurable birth.
My baby is healthy.
I am completely cooperating with my body.
I breathe deeply and slowly to relax my muscles making it easier for my uterus to work.
My body is made to give birth, nice and easy.
My body is completely relaxed.
All I need to do is relax and breathe – nothing else.
I feel the strong waves of labor and know that everything is normal and progressing.
My body knows how to have this baby just as my body knew how to grow this baby.
Keep my mind on acceptance and surrender.
I surrender my birthing over to my baby and my body.
My body has a wide open space for my baby to descend. There is nothing in the way.
My body will give birth in its own time.
I love my baby and I am doing all that is necessary to bring about a healthy birth.
Birth is an easy and natural occurrence for which my body has been perfectly designed.
The strength of my uterine contractions is a sign of my feminine strength.
I have the energy and stamina to birth my baby.
I surrender to the contractions and relinquish control of the forces within my body.
I allow my body’s natural anesthesia to flow through my body.
I do not fight the birth in any way. My body is totally relaxed. I am not afraid.
I am ready and prepared for childbirth.
My job is to simply relax and allow the birth to happen.
Each contraction produces a healthy, positive pain that I can handle.
Birth will go exactly as it should.
I will have a strong and healthy baby.
I trust my body to know how to birth this child.
I trust my instincts to know what I need in labor.
I trust my instincts to do what is best for my baby.
Only I can give birth to this baby and I accept responsibility for that challenge.
Babies are born when they are ready, not when doctors, midwives or anyone decides.
My body is indeed beautifully and wonderfully made.
It’s good for me to take care of myself. I get to have a voice.
I am willing to experience all my feelings.
My pelvis releases and opens as have those of countless women before me.
My heart knows what my baby needs, my mind is learning.
I embrace the concept of healthy pain.
My body contains all the knowledge necessary to give birth to my baby.
 

Some of these may or may not appeal to you and that's okay. I know that I like them. Choose the ones that fit you best! Do you have any affirmations that you would like added to this list!? What affirmations did/do you find helpful? Let me know!
 

There are so many great things about being a doula but one of the hardest parts, for me, is being on call!

Not knowing when the "I think this is it!" call will come can be stressful. I'm a bit of a night owl so I won't slide into bed until after midnight. When I go on call I have to force myself to go to bed early and often, this ends with me arguing with myself.

"She won't call tonight, just stay up for a bit longer!"
"Okay, but what if she does!? Then you won't have any energy to support this mother!"
"Oh come on, Beyond Scared Straight has an all night marathon! Do you really want to miss that!?"

This happens every night when I'm on call. :-) I do my best to go to bed early because I know that odds are, I'll have just started snoring when my phone will sound! I don't drink coffee or chug RedBull so I know that if I don't sleep, I'll be spending the next 18 hours running on vapors.

Then there is the unfortunate fact that you can't concretely plan anything in your life! I'm constantly scheduling, rescheduling, and scheduling again! Things like doctor appointments, birthdays, anniversaries often fall by the wayside. People in my life have come to understand that birth is very unpredictable and therefore, so am I. But I still see the disappointment in their eyes when I explain that I have to cancel with them again because something "birthy" came up. I can't turn off my phone in a crowded theater, hang out with the folks who are more carefree, or order that dirty martini because the phone could ring at any time. My life has definitely been changed by joining this profession. And even though sometimes being on call is no fun, when I get the call, things falls gently into place...I get up, shower, get dressed and grab my gear and go.

As stressful as being on call can sometimes be, It is after I've gotten this call that I get to do what I LOVE to do. Be with and support these mothers as they walk their journey through labor and childbirth...stand beside and guide their partners as they are shown the power that women possess...and most important of all is to witness the power of birth. The miracle that is first breath and the electric love that erupts and fills the room from the family that has just been created. That is the best part of being a doula!

You yearn to experience the discomfort of labor only to emerge victorious and empowered by the miraculous work that you have just done.

That's not to say that I walk around green with envy, hating all pregnant woman...

I have always been a big supporter of breastfeeding and a woman's right to nurse her baby wherever and whenever her child is hungry. Breastfeeding is normal, natural, and exactly what a growing child needs to thrive. This blog won't be about breast milk versus artificial baby milk because there is something far more important that I want to talk about. This blog is going to be about an interaction that I had recently that both frustrated and inspired me.

I was waiting for a potential client at a crowded coffee shop, when I saw a mom walk in carrying her beautiful, sleeping daughter in the car seat. Soon after the mother had ordered her drink, the baby woke up and began to loudly signal that it was time to eat! The mother quickly sat at a table near me and positioned her baby at her breast. Soon, the young one quieted and began to drink heartily. I had noticed that she was breastfeeding but didn't pay it much attention because I am quite literally always surrounded by newborns and toddlers alike who are nursing. It's just the norm in my life. She looked up from her baby once and our eyes met. I smiled and went back to my textbook (I was reading a about working with mothers who breastfeed, oddly enough).

As I looked up to take a sip of my passion fruit tea (no sweetener!), I noticed that there were two women sitting at a table near me who were eyeing the nursing mother. These were some of the things that I heard:

     "Can you believe she's doing that in here? I mean, this place is packed and she's got her friggin' tit out."
     "She has no business doing that, there are men in here! I would lose my mind if she did that around MY husband!"
     "She needs to take that kid to the bathroom and do that in private!"

I shot them a death stare and they seemed to quiet down for a few minutes, so I went back to my work. The woman I was meeting with had still not arrived so I was debating on leaving when I saw the women walk over to the nursing mother. She looked up and smiled at them. This was the conversation that took place: 
 
    Woman 1: Hi! Oh what a sweet baby you have there! She's beautiful!
    Nursing Mom: Thank you! She's 2 weeks old. She IS pretty perfect."
    Woman 2: She seems hungry! Didn't you feed her before you left the house!?
    NM: Of course I did, but she is a newborn. She eats all the time!
    W1: (Trying to sound sweet) Well, don't you think that you would be better off feeding her in the bathroom? I mean, this is no place to have your boob out."
    W2: (Not so sweet) Yeah, that way other people don't have to watch. I totally support breastfeeding but not when someone does it like you're doing it. Why not give her formula when you're in public or pumped milk so that you don't have to expose yourself"
    (At this point, I think the nursing mother was embarrassed and upset that these women had been so rude. She didn't say anything, just started to collect her things.)

THIS, my friends, is when I decided that I was just going to have to say something. I turned to the table where the nursing mother was and said, "Darling, don't you dare stop feeding your beautiful little girl! You have the legal right to feed her anywhere you have the right to be and if they have a problem with what you're doing...well, they have choices to make. If what you're doing offends them so much, they can leave. If they choose to stay, they can drink THEIR coffee in the bathroom or they can accept the beautiful gift that you are giving your daughter and they can keep their nasty, bulbous noses out of your business." Then I turned back to my book. Slack-jawed, all three women didn't move an inch. Then, I heard the nursing mother say, "Yeah! If you don't like it, go drink YOUR coffee in the damn bathroom!"

The nasty women quickly made a bee line for the door when they realized that not only was this woman going to continue to breastfeed her baby, but that she also had backup just a table away. When the woman finished her coffee and she was on her way out, she stopped at my table and tearfully said, "I just wanted to thank you. You didn't even know me and you stood up for me and my baby. That doesn't happen a lot in this world anymore." We went on to talk for another 5 minutes or so about the work that I do and why I felt the need to speak up. She and I exchanged phone numbers and she went on her way.

I have always been a supporter of breastfeeding and a child's right to eat wherever and whenever she and her mother feel is appropriate. I don't believe that a woman should have to sit in a dirty, cramped bathroom stall to feed her baby as I know that I don't want to eat my lunch in there! I don't believe that a woman should have to cover her child with a blanket for fear of people seeing her breasts either. When a woman is breastfeeding, you see about the same amount of skin that one would see when she is wearing a bathing suit....so what's the difference? Because there is a baby attached to her breast or because you MIGHT see a nipple, she is somehow doing something indecent or wrong? No no no... Breastfeeding could not be more natural and beautiful. I think that a baby receiving the gift of milk from her mother is something beautiful to watch. The love in the mother's eyes as she gently strokes her baby's arm. The way the baby reaches up to caress her mother's face. The palpable love that you can feel when a mother and child are connected in this most intimate way. Who could possibly have an objection to this sacred act?!

Covered or uncovered, a mother has the right to feed her child wherever she has the right to be. If you don't like it, I would advise you to look away. If you don't want to see it, perhaps you should put a blanket over your head. To the moms who risk getting dirty looks or deal with nosey people with absolutely no manners demanding that you cover or hide yourself away...THANK YOU! Thank you for paving the way for the rest of us who either are too scared to nurse in
public or are yet to do so. Because of you, we will know that nursing is normal and healthy. We will know that we can do it because we have witnessed it being done! There may have been millions of mothers who have nursed before you but YOU are a trailblazer and an inspiration!

Next time you're out, if you see a woman feeding her baby (covered or uncovered!), smile at her. Don't make a show of it, but if you can, thank her for having the courage to do so. It could be her 264th time feeding her baby in public or it could be her very first time! Either way...I'm sure that you will make her day.

It is my sincere hope that if there is a debate that it is done with loving kindness and respect for each other. We are all entitled to our opinions but please express them respectfully.

In the interest of full disclosure, I should preface this blog with telling you that I am not yet a mother so this is all just my humble opinion. I have done a fair amount of research and I have also spent a lot of time around people who have either used products like this or who have sworn off other products. So with that said, here are my tips!

*Invest in a good, comfortable baby carrier (or two)
I make wraps like the Moby because of the variety of positions you can wrap
baby in and the fact that you can use it from birth up to 35 pounds. But I have used and love the Maya wrap. Not only is it SUPER simple to use but it seems like the little tots love it! For older children, I have friends who swear by the Ergo. As I said, I don't have children, so I can't say which I prefer but I do know what I won't be buying! Don't buy a carrier because of name recognition. The front, forward-facing style carriers have been found to be extremely uncomfortable (not to mention the risk of hip dysplasia...look it up!). I have heard of local birth centers occasionally hosting a baby wearing night where you can go and try on several styles of carriers to see which is most comfortable for you. Check and see if you can find something like that in your area! You won't regret it.

*Nurseries are over rated Yeah I said it! Let's be honest here. Truth is, your child will more than likely be next to your bed (or in it) for the first six months of his life. If you're planning on having baby in your room, don't stress about the nursery. Baby won't be mad at you because his crib isn't set up yet, his nautical themed decorations have not been ordered or because his walls aren't painted the right color which coordinates perfectly with the staining of his crib (which is still not set up).

* He will have outgrown those newborn clothes by next week
I know they are so cute and tiny, but you will hardly get any use out of them (unless you have a darling little premature babe on your hands <3). Register for bigger sizes. People who don't look at your registry are going to gravitate to the small sizes so go ahead and register for the big ones, even up to the 12 month size. That will get you to his first birthday party!

* Go gender neutral as much as possible
I won't both to bore you with my opinion on "pink for girls, blue for boys"...not to mention I don't want to make my readers angry in my 2nd blog! I know that there are a lot of parents who believe that every little girl has to have her bows and pink, frilly dresses and every little boy needs his baseball hat and blue jeans, but there are so many things that you can buy in neutral colors. Do it! Then you have less to buy next time around. (Plus you'll keep strangers guessing and let the child determine their gender..."Oh what a beautiful little....um....uh....CHILD you have there!" [guess I couldn't keep my opinion to myself...oops!])

* The person who invented baby sleepers that snap all the way up and down was not a parent
Get the zippers. You'll thank me later.

* Diapers, diapers, diapers
So you think buying diapers is a boring present? Yes....it can be. But they are so expensive and are a never ending expense (if you go with disposables). If a mom is cloth diapering, it can be more fun because you can pick out fun designs! Cloth diapering mommies can register for diapers! Register for several sizes, focusing on the bigger sizes. Newborn diapers lasted us for about two weeks before you will find that you have to move up to the next size. In conversations that I have had with some diapering moms who use disposables, they have said that their babies spent the most time in size 3 diapers, so stock up on those. For a cloth mommy, register for diapers, liners, cloth wipes, laundry detergent and all other diapering supplies.

* Standard sized receiving blankets won't swaddle my BIG TOE! 
If your baby likes to be swaddled, the ones that you receive from the hospital or similar sizes are just not big enough. Find some extra big ones or have someone make you some large, lightweight blankets that you can use for swaddling and beyond. However, please keep in mind that you should learn the proper way to swaddle and as soon as baby learns to roll over, you should immediately stop swaddling.

* You really don't need 15 bottles of baby lotion...or baby powder...or diaper cream
I can count on one hand the amount of times that I have used these things on a baby in my care. I don't like how it makes them smell and they really don't need it, as long as they are not bathed too much or with harsh chemicals. Coconut oil can be used as an all natural moisturizer if needed. If your baby gets a diaper rash, then you can worry about the diaper cream. Don't register for a ton of cream just because Aunt Diane said it's the best. If there comes a time when you do need it, go to your local grocer and get some after you've decided what is safest and best for your baby's skin. Register for the things you know you will need!

* Register for good quality nursing bras and tanks
These can be pretty darn expensive but can make a HUGE difference in how you feel day in and day out. Find a brand you
love and register.

As you can see...you don't need very much! And as I said before, this blog is a summation of the items that I have seen get the MOST use from family and friends. If you have things that you couldn't live without when you brought your baby home, please feel free to add them to the comments! I want to know! :-)

Hey everyone!
After months of flip-flopping on the subject, I've finally decided to start a blog! Now I'm not even going to kid you into thinking that everything I write is going to be gold, so please don't expect TOO much from me...at least in the beginning. I'm sure that there are going to be some posts that are controversial and we might have a healthy debate from time to time. I'm excited to begin this journey and if you're reading this, I'm glad you've decided to come along for the ride. You probably already know me, either personally or professionally, but just in case you're reading this and have no clue who I am... I'll tell you a bit about myself.
I was raised by a single mother in a small town in Connecticut. While I'm sure that she did the best that she could, I didn't have the best upbringing. In fact, at times it was downright terrible. I spent most of my time devising ways to trick my friends and their parents into inviting me to sleep over their house so that I wouldn't have to go home at night. Many girls in my grade were terribly cruel and as a result of their constant ridicule and my exhausting home life, I began to find ways to hurt myself. When my life was threatened, I ran away from home. This was just a few months before I graduated from high school and since my family decided to move away, I was homeless that summer. I made my way crashing on couches and floors and babysitting in exchange for food. I spent 4 terrifying nights in an alley, sleeping in between a huge garbage bin and a brick wall.
I eventually made my way to Massachusetts where things finally started to work out in my favor. I got a job at a nursing home assisting the elderly. I loved that job. It was really rewarding but SUPER difficult mentally, emotionally, and physically. Every time one of my patients passed away, I went home a sobbing mess. It was really hard to go to work knowing that I might lose someone that I had come to care about. Soon I moved on to work with at risk teens in a residential setting. This would turn out to be something that I would spend almost a decade doing. Those kids seriously taught me so many life lessons and there is really no way to repay them.
I started to work as a doula when a friend asked me if I would attend her birth. That peaked my interest and I decided that I wanted to start learning about what a doula did, but it would take me another year or so before I would take the steps to get certified. Since becoming a doula, I've learned a heck of a lot. I've always had a huge knowledge of birth, babies, child care, etc. but never really knew how I was going to put that to use besides for being a mother. So when I had the opportunity, or should I say "kick in the pants" to get certified through DONA (Doulas of North America), I jumped on it. I mean, I dove in head first! This career has been the most incredible, challenging, rewarding, moving, humbling thing that I have ever done in my life. It has shown me the incredible strength that we as women possess, the tender compassion that husbands have for their wives, and fierce love that new parents have for a child that they have only just met. I'm welcomed to take part in one of the most intimate moments in a person's life and each and every time...I am overwhelmed. I have found my place. I have found my calling. I know deep down in my heart that I was born to be a mother but I also know that I was born to be a doula. And that's kind of the same thing. :-)