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Has it really been five years already???

9/9/2014

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Five years ago today, I was standing in my hotel suite desperately trying not to cry. With my makeup perfectly applied, hair done, and veil in place...it was becoming real. I was getting married. Between the mini panic attacks and squeals of delight, I was so darn excited. The day had finally arrived.
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As I stepped into my gown, I wave of calm enveloped me. I was mere moments away from joining my life to the person who made me feel alive. Who has enriched my life simply by existing. Who has opened up my mind and heart to new ideas and ways of thinking. Who has shown me what perfect love and perfect trust are all about.
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Our wedding day is honestly a blur for me (I blame it on neglecting to eat and only hydrating myself on the champagne!), but I remember some key moments that always make me smile.

I remember my aunt adjusting my dress and then moments later, having a fit of laughter while then trying to help me learn how to use the bathroom in said dress (Tip for all you future brides: Pee first! ;-) )!
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I remember feeling the air leave me as I started my walk down my (very long!) beach aisle. I remember Mark joking with me as he guided me toward the alter, whispering that he had left the car running in case I wanted to make a break for it.
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I remember staring down at my husband's hands during our hand blessing ceremony
and thinking how lucky I was that he had chosen me.
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I remember him delicately applying sindoor to my forehead, thus ending my days as a single woman. I remember him covering my head with a sari, the look on his face...I'll remember it forever.
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I remember our vows to each other. The promises we made as our friends and family looked on.

Not all days have been good. Some, in fact, have been just plain awful but there is something that has pushed us on to today. I feel that we are madly, truly, deeply in love with one another and a love like ours is too exceptional to just toss away when things get hard.
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He is my motivation to do better, to be better. He challenges me and he tests me but he is also my safe harbor...my lighthouse in the darkness. This year will also mark our 9th year of being together. I honestly can not believe that we have been loving each other for almost a decade. It doesn't feel like it's been that long. I wish that time would slow down so I don't feel like I'm missing it.

Roni, you are constantly renewing my faith that love and marriages can last forever. Your gentle way of living has touched some of the deepest parts of my soul and I am forever changed by you. I love laughing with you. I love going off on adventures with you...even routine chores are often some of my favorite things to do and it's because, with you, I am at ease. These past five years have not been without upset and sadness but they have also not been without laughter and devotion...tenderness and love. Your unwavering strength and guidance as we walk through this life together has been the greatest gift that I could ever receive. Because of you, I have so many reasons to smile.

You are my confidant, partner in crime, husband, and friend. Who could ask for more than that? I love you, Roni.
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Pour your Intentions into the Salt Bowl.

5/31/2014

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I've been thinking a lot about connection recently and how we impact the people around us. No matter how quick a connection, a change has been set in motion. An exchange...give and take.

A bee might only pause briefly atop a flower but both the bee and the flower have experienced a powerful connection. The bee, pausing only moments to collect nectar has no idea that there is an exchange taking place. As the bee sits, the flower's pollen sticks to its legs. Flower to flower the pollen is transferred and the cycle continues, creating new flowers from which the bee can drink.
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Since my husband and I learned that we are going to be moving, I've been focusing a lot of my energy on the connections that I've made. I feel guilty that I didn't have the opportunity to tell everyone how much they have meant to me and how grateful I am for the lasting impact that they have had on me.

The dictionary defines a Connection as "linking of people or things: the joining together of two or more people, things, or parts". With that in mind, I wanted to mention something that I hope to do with the people in my life. I want to go to the salt bowl.
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Image captured before my goodbye salt bowl ceremony
A salt bowl ceremony is an incredible practice that involves a circle of people who, with adding their own personal ingredients, co-create a large bowl full of pleasant smelling sea salt. The salt bowl is sent around the circle and as each person adds their own special ingredient (essential oils, sage, finely chopped citrus peel, lavender that you picked from your home garden, honey, sugar, etc.) they also add their intention. This can be anything that you want, a goal for your life, a thought about the relationships in the circle, a kind message to the group, aspiration, whatever intention you feel compelled to pour into the bowl is left in the salt.

When this circle is completed, everyone takes a jar of the intention filled, delicious smelling salt home with them. In times of stress, anxiety, or simply when you need a break from the day, you can return to the salt bowl. You can bathe in those intentions and love, wash your hands with the well wishes and kind thoughts that were lovingly added by family and friends, or simply close your eyes, smell, and remember the unity that you felt as each person added their selves to the bowl and how wonderfully present you were in that moment.

An experience like going to the salt bowl can be wonderfully transformative. It's a moment in time when you're holding a literal representation of yourself...being a part of something bigger. And while you're amazing on your own, great things happen when you connect and bind with those around you.
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From Los Angeles to the Ozarks

5/27/2014

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I grew up in a town of just over 4,000 people and city life was always interesting to me. Intrigued by the chaos and life force that the city offered, I jumped at the chance to move there in 2007. I was so excited to go, not only because I was going to be able to be reunited with my boyfriend (Now husband, he moved to LA six months prior) but because I was intrigued by the lifestyle and eager to become a part of it. There are a lot of things about living in the city that my husband and I really enjoy. Being a hop, skip, and a jump away from the beach has been a blast...we even got married on the beach because we love it so much! 

For the last 6 weeks or so, my husband has been interviewing with the legal department of a large company based in Springfield, Missouri. Two months of work, eleven interviews, and one hectic business trip later...they offered him the job and today, he accepted! We are very excited about this move and we are hopeful for what it promises for our future, our family and our careers. 

Leaving Los Angeles' rich, honest, and unified birth community is going to be very hard for me. I have been spoiled with a rich and supportive birth community as well. We support one another, raise each other up, and challenge each other to be better. These doula sisters (and a few brothers), midwives, etc., are more than colleagues...we are friends. I have never been a part of a community like this and I am so thankful that I have had the opportunity to grow my business in a city with such passionate birth workers. We have also been blessed to become friends with some amazing and unique people in our time here. Lactation consultants, chefs, musicians, scientists...they come from all walks of life, but what binds them is the passion that I've come to expect from those who call this place home. 

I am very excited to build my business and support the families in Springfield! Not only will this move be good for my family but it will be good for Shanti Birth Services...I'm sure of it! I already have a huge list of things that I would like to accomplish so once I get there I can hit the ground running! Thank you to everyone who has trusted me as your doula, placenta encapsulation specialist, belly caster, blessingway planner, etc.. It has been my most sincere honor to work with you and your families. A big thank you to all of the men and women in the Los Angeles birth community! Your support has been invaluable!

I am very excited for this new journey and I hope that you'll come along with me!
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This is Springfield, Missouri. I love how green it is!
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It's been a long time...

5/24/2014

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Hi there friends!

Sorry I've been away for so long! Things have been pretty crazy in my world as of
late and blogging has fallen by the wayside. There are a lot of fantastic things happening right now that I'm having trouble keeping up. It's exhausting but I wouldn't change it for anything. Even though I haven't been posting regularly, I've been hard at work cooking up great ideas and working on some pretty great blogs.

I can't wait to share them with you!
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Green everywhere! This picture was taken on the way to Branson.
Roni and I just returned from a week long trip in Springfield, Missouri. Boy was that an experience! Springfield is SO different from Los Angeles...green as far as the eye can see, clean air and water, and friendly people who will go out of their way to have a conversation with you.
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On the other side of this card was the name and history of a female passenger aboard the Titanic. The card is carried through the exhibit and at the end, you find out if your passenger lived or died. Very powerful.
We spent an afternoon in Branson at the Titanic museum. If you ever have the chance to go to this museum, you must go. Not only to they have actual artifacts from the ship but the museum itself is shaped like the front half of the ship. They have a few interactive parts as well. There is a section where they have you walk on decks that are slanted at different angles to give people the idea of what it was like to try and stay safely on board as the ship was sinking. As the angle of the deck increased, I found myself becoming more and more sad. Another part of the exhibit allows you the chance to experience how horribly cold the water was on that fateful night. You're asked to plunge your hand down into the icy water and a timer is set (the maximum is three minutes with a timer sounding if you've completed it). Most, feeling the frigid sting of the freezing water, immediately pull their hand out, while others try to last a bit longer. When I came to this station, I knew right away that I was going to keep my hand in the water for the full three minutes. Not to show that I have a high pain tolerance but to allow myself to experience, even for three minutes, the pain that those men, women, and children had to endure. It was a beautiful tribute to the lives of those who were aboard that How long do you think you could keep your hand submerged in 28 degree water? I had a great time and I can't wait to go back.


I'll be posting a blog in a few days but in the meantime, I'm interested to know what types of topics YOU'RE interested in reading!? What would you like for me to talk about? Thanks friends!
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    Kirstin Mae Sengupta

    WELCOME TO MY WORLD!
    I will be gabbing about all things pregnancy, birth, and postpartum but I'll also be yakking away about my life, my love of chocolate, fun things that I'm doing, important people in my life, who's annoyed me, cooking, what I'm reading...you know, life.

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